AFL – Sneaky Athletic

Round 10 Preview: Teams are, have been and always will be bad

Brendon Bolton was at the forefront of a media barrage once again this week.

How refreshing and new did it feel to have another week where the football world poured it on Carlton?

Coming off another disastrous effort against the Giants, the Blues remain rooted to the bottom of the ladder with just the solitary victory and exceeded the ineptitude shown two weeks prior against North Melbourne in their 93-point humiliation at Giants Stadium.

As has now become customary in 2019, the media buried coach Brendon Bolton, tore shreds off the playing group and questioned again when or if club administration would act and force changes as their season spirals into a dumpster fire once again.

One quote that caught my attention and was trotted out by Caroline Wilson on both Footy Classified and the Age Real Footy podcast was the advantage teams playing were gaining through percentage boosts and that it would artificially skew the ladder.

Now ignoring the fact that Carlton have been largely competitive in all their games this year – aside from big losses to the Kangaroos and GWS, their biggest loss has been 33-points in Round 1 to Richmond. There is a reality of football, and any sport for that matter, which Caro and indeed the entire football world forgets, some teams aren’t good.

The reality is someone must be at the foot of the ladder, there will never be 18 competitive teams, it’s not possible. Yet we go through this pathetic dance every time Carlton losses a game. It’s mainly a symptom of the oversaturation of coverage, but I think it’s also partly this sudden impatience that rebuilding teams should take no longer than one, maybe two seasons to get back to relevance.

This isn’t surprising that the Blues are struggling again. They’re coming off a two-win season which netted them last year’s wooden spoon and despite some senior additions in the off-season are still young, inexperienced and face plenty of development before they can contend again.

No one, aside from the most optimistic Carlton supporter, could have had the Blues any higher than the bottom six in their preseason ladder predictions (aside from the club themselves ironically, who of course swapped first round picks in the 2019 draft with Adelaide).

Carlton embarked on an all-out rebuild, right as free agency changed the ways teams should regenerate and are still very much near the bottom of the mountain. They will continue to struggle, they will continue to have horrible games and at times, it will continue to seem like all hope is gone, it’s part of rebuilding.

Now I agree that they should be further advanced than where they are, and Sunday was truly horrific. The stagnation in development of the likes of Charlie Curnow, Paddy Dow and Sam Petrevski-Seton is also a concern. But the reality is their list is young, they’re not very good and there will continue to be pain. There’s no need for a forensic microscope every time Carlton lose a game.

As I have unwittingly added to this pile on of Carlton, let’s go the top of the ladder and for the first time this season, the top eight includes the best eight teams. While it is certainly no lock, there is a good chance we’re looking at our final top eight after Round 9.

Stats suggest we should be close as on average 6.5 of the top eight is locked in at this point of the season, so any more than one or two changes would be unexpected.

Right now, at most, there are five premiership contenders and even that can be whittled down. Let’s break down our top eight and where they sit:

Leading the pack – Geelong and Collingwood

These two teams have emerged as we approach the halfway mark and deserve their standing as 1^st and 2^nd respectively. The Cats have certainly shown more than the Pies, including winning their head-to-head clash in Round 1, however Collingwood haven’t reached anything near their peak and have several gears they can move in to as we approach finals.

Next in line – GWS Giants

Prior to the Hawthorn loss, the Giants deserved to be with the top two, however consistent issues have emerged. While their struggles at the MCG are real and have received far more airtime, their bigger issue in continually failing to mentally show up to games, particularly when they’re seen as strong favourites. Maybe their Round 2 loss against the Eagles saw them walk into a buzzsaw as the reigning premiers enjoyed their first game at home since their September triumph, however their hiccups against Fremantle and the Hawks keep them a step behind.

Stalking but still unproven – Richmond and West Coast

The two most recent premiers are currently unproven for different reasons. The term doesn’t quite fit Richmond, who have shown their depth can hold up despite serious injuries to key players. However, these injuries do keep them behind that top three, especially when you consider their heavy losses they’ve already suffered against Collingwood and GWS. West Coast is a pure form concern. They haven’t really touched the heights of 2018, save for their dismantling of the Giants. They still have to be respected for their feats last season, but they do need to start showing they can replicate that form.

The wildcard – Brisbane

Give respect to the Lions, they’ve come on faster than I expected and although benefiting from a few middle of the road teams falling off from last year, their 6-3 record is legit and it would be surprising if they missed finals. The knock on them is their losses have been bad and they don’t have any major scalps. They did easily account for West Coast, however that was in Round 1 and the Eagles were undermanned. The positive; they’ve largely taken care of business against teams around them on the ladder.

Rounding out the top eight – Adelaide, Port Adelaide

Both South Australians teams are just about where they should be. I haven’t been sold on Adelaide. Their win streak was against a bunch of cupcakes and despite a late charge, fell a point short against the Lions, suggesting they’re a level back from Brisbane and even further behind the top five. Port Adelaide are going to Port Adelaide and once again they smack the teams below them and fall short against anyone above them. Aside from their demolition of the Eagles, their wins have come against Carlton, Melbourne, North Melbourne and Gold Coast. Port are the team most likely to slip out of the finals come September.

Onwards to Round 10, peeps:

Sydney vs Collingwood (-17.5)

Two weeks ago, Sydney’s future looked as bleak as anyone’s, but low and behold they’ve unearthed some young talent. Nick Blakey has come as advertised, Oliver Florent is improving, George Hewett has turned into a very solid tagger and even Ryan Clark got revenge against his old team. However, we can pump the breaks on a mid-season revival until they’ve beaten more than the Bombers and Kangaroos. Collingwood will provide a much sterner test on a ground (or more a city) where they’ve traditionally thrived on.

Hawthorn (3.5) vs Port Adelaide

The term ‘flat-track bullies’ is thrown around a fair bit these days, but somehow, every year it fits perfectly in describing the Power. They beat up on the dregs and never get close to any serious contender. Their current record against fellow top eight teams is 1-4 and as mentioned, their only decent win came against West Coast. Admittedly they have battled through a pretty serious injury toll and need to take care of business against a Hawks side which are around three weeks away from correctly throwing in the towel on their season.

Western Bulldogs (-8.5) vs North Melbourne

I continue to stand by my feeling that with a better coach this Bulldogs team could thrive. Despite falling away late against the Cats, the Dogs played some brilliant football. Their ball movement was crisp, their foot skills were impressive, and their outside run was damaging. They have the makings of a solid list despite deficiencies in the key position department across the ground. Their backline was manhandled by Geelong in giving up 21-goals. Thankfully they won’t face the same offensive force on Saturday.

Adelaide vs West Coast (+8.5)

I’m not ready to give up on the Eagles and I’m equally not ready to believe in the Crows. West Coast are indeed showing some worrying signs and if Melbourne weren’t such a disaster right now, they would have lost comfortably last Friday night. The Eagles feel like a team who will never put it all together this year, but I’ll stick with them for now.

Richmond (-13.5) vs Essendon

Devon Smith and Joe Daniher both done for the year in the one week. Despite being within striking distance of the top eight, this Essendon season feels cooked and they can’t be trusted to make any indents against the top teams. Dreamtime at the ‘G has been fairly one-sided of late and despite Richmond’s injury list continuing to grow, the Tigers feel like they’re hitting another gear, particularly if Dustin Martin can repeat last week’s effort.

Gold Coast (+32.5) vs Geelong

Watching the Suns fall away in the last quarter against the Power last week was annoying, they deserved to be closer and definitely deserved to cover the line. For a team so bereft of talent, Gold Coast are exceptionally coached. They seem to finally be getting genuine output from Jack Bowes and Ben Ainsworth, but you would like to see a little more from Jack Lukosius and Ben King needs some time to get used to the AFL level. The Cats have traditionally used their trip north as an excuse for a holiday and could be minus Patrick Dangerfield and Gary Ablett, who are both due a rest.

Melbourne vs GWS Giants (-9.5)

The dreaded trip to the MCG for the Giants. Melbourne provide them a perfect opportunity to smash that deficiency, while also giving them a chance to get their heads straight and take care of a weaker opponent. Take nothing from their cakewalk last week, that smashing was always on the cards. A team like Melbourne is one they’ve occasionally struggled against, unless they arrive ready to kill.

St Kilda vs Carlton (+17.5)

Whacked in the media ad nauseum again, expect a much more spirited display from the Blues and inevitably fall short once again. Not sure what to make of the Saints this season, their injuries have clouded any sort of proper measurement which makes the handling of Alan Richardson far more difficult. They’re stuck in limbo.

Fremantle (-5.5) vs Brisbane

Fremantle follow a similar pattern where they’ll dish up a few stinkers and have an odd surprise game maybe one a month or so. That game is due up and I don’t like the idea of a young Brisbane team travelling across the country. Their interstate record has been patchy so far, with big losses against Essendon at the MCG and the Bulldogs in Ballarat. Open up the taps a little Ross and let your team score.

Season Record

36/81 (44%)

Geelong can reap the benefits of holding firm on Kelly

Following the 2008 season, former Sydney forward Ryan O’Keefe knocked back Sydney’s three-year contract offer and sought a trade back to his home state of Victoria.

Premiers Hawthorn quickly emerged as the front runners and O’Keefe looked destined to join the Hawks during trade week.

The issue was no deal could be brokered and with the prospect of being vulnerable to the order of the pre-season draft, O’Keefe eventually re-signed with Sydney, played out the rest of his career for the Swans, winning a Norm Smith medal and a premiership.

Prior to 2018, this stood as the last occasion where a high-profile player expressed a desire to leave his club yet was forced to remain with no trade ever eventuating.

With the advent of free agency allowing more fluid player movement once players came out of contract after extended periods at the one club, it also changed the way contracted players were treated with clubs seemingly always willing to accept trade requests from players and complete deals, sometimes at the last minute.

Tim Kelly seemed destined to force his way back to his home state of Western Australia after he finally publicly announced his desire to be traded to West Coast after a year of rumours that he and his family were unhappy living in Geelong.

Despite public pressure, the on-going perception that ‘deals just get done’ and the threat of losing Kelly for less or no compensation in a year, the Cats didn’t buckle and moved on after failing to receive what they viewed as adequate compensation.

It was a change of reputation from the team down the highway, but it’s reaping major benefits and will continue to do so through the season and into this year’s trade period.

Geelong had three key factors in their favour which made it beneficial to hold onto Kelly, all aside from the fact he immediately become one of the club’s and indeed the league’s best midfielders.

The first was having Kelly under contract. While that hasn’t really meant much of late, with the likes of Josh Schache and Gary Ablett forcing trades while under contract, Geelong still held leverage over Kelly and rightfully used it. He’s also on an extremely low contract. It’s worth mentioning the benefits of having a top five player on your list being paid a second-round draft pick salary.

Second was Kelly’s value was only going to go up. Barring a major injury, the on-baller was going to improve, he was entering the prime of his career, had no wear and tear on his body at the top level and had a year within the AFL system under his belt. The Cats were going to be able to come to trade table with a higher prized recruit than the previous year.

The third and potentially most intriguing factor which the Cats benefited from waiting on, was Fremantle entering the picture. Despite protestations from Kelly (and his West Coast-centric manager) against the idea of heading to the Dockers, there was a chance that if Geelong held firm, Kelly would have to relent and open a two-horse race between the WA clubs. Seemingly, that has happened and now Geelong can seek the best deal from two possible destinations.

With the power players currently have over trade negotiations is it hard for clubs to hold firm, they have no ability to seek maximum compensation as the player can veto any trade to a destination that doesn’t suit him.

Hence why players are dealt so easily, even while under contract. But Geelong were right then to hold firm and the decision looks even better now. Kelly is a genuine Brownlow contender whose value has shot past any players dealt in recent trade periods. He’s probably the best player to request a trade since Chris Judd.

Now West Coast maximised Judd’s value through the ability to sort through a bevy of offers from Victorian clubs. As Geelong only has one, maybe two teams in play, they don’t quite have that option, but they are in a stronger position to deal this off-season than last.

West Coast’s reported final offer was their two second-round picks in 2018 (20, 22) and a future second-round selection in this year’s draft (that will presumably fall somewhere in the mid-20’s). Against Steven Wells’ M.O. and the reputation of the Cats as the ‘good guys of trade week’, the Cats held out for a future first-round pick in this year’s draft and never baulked from their demand.

Now Kelly is undoubtedly worth at least two-first round picks and then some, considering he looks more complete than past players who were dealt for that price including Adam Treloar and Dylan Shiel.

Of course, the entirely alternate scenario which could become a reality and was strengthened by Geelong buying time accredited to them through Kelly’s contract, is they convince him to stay.

While it’s highly likely he seeks a trade as soon as Geelong play their final game later this season, the Cats have had another year to work on making Kelly and his family happy in Geelong. They have taken notable steps off field and their 7-1 start and premiership favouritism surely couldn’t hurt their chances either.

It may not exactly set a precedent in future years, but the Cats have shown the benefits of holding players to their contracts and not faulting the second a contracted player wants out. Clubs still have some leverage and Geelong has used that to their effect and will more-than-likely benefit from it, either through a sweeter deal come October, or Kelly signing an extension with the team.

The only thing that hasn’t changed for the Cats appears to be still losing a great player, which Tim Kelly has already become.

Round 1 Preview: Get over it Richmond, move on

Richmond’s Nathan Broad didn’t have quite the same level of fun as his teammates, this off-season.

It is finally here, Round 1, marking the official end of the off-season, dominated by one team, guess who?

Yes, if you’re a fan of any of the other 17 teams, you’ve no doubt enjoyed the last six-months, a Tigers lovefest across all forms of media. Damien Hardwick recounting on a daily basis how he had to change his methods after the 2016 disaster. Dustin Martin suddenly becoming a marketable face of the league, and for some reason, Bonds underwear. Alex Rance again trying to drum up some publicity with a faux retirement. Jack Riewoldt’s wedding. Brendon Gale being Brendon Gale, etc. etc.

After the Bulldogs broke their premiership drought in 2016, I didn’t think the level of coverage on a single team could be topped, that the media could spend more time focusing on a single team, but alas they have. And I get that there will be a greater focus on the reigning premiers, it makes sense. You’re going to hear about the Tigers more than say, North Melbourne, who no one ever has any interest in, particularly this year. However, at some point, enough is enough, surely.

The entire 2018 season has been built on Richmond, from the marketing by the league, to the marketing by major TV networks, to which players are constantly being promoted. And I pray and hope, it all falls apart and quickly.

Richmond have eight marque games on either Thursday or Friday night, with the ANZAC Day eve game against Melbourne on a Tuesday night thrown in for good measure. Can you imagine if the Tigers put up a Bulldogs-like premiership defence? Wouldn’t it be glorious. A slow start, in-fighting, injuries, turmoil and the return of supporters threatening to microwave memberships and burning down Punt Road, the good old days.

Anyway, what else has been going on outside of Richmond? Well the AFL has botched Tasmania and how to handle sex scandals inside AFL House. Collingwood are still a dumpster fire. Jeff Kennett is back, that’s just what we need. And some Melbourne players didn’t want to go on a pre-season camp, which means according to some meatheads in the media, we should write off their entire season before it even begins.

I do enjoy the likes of Wayne Carey and Cam Mooney calling Melbourne players soft for going to the AFLPA to voice their concerns regarding training habits at the clubs. It’s not like that’s the reason the AFLPA exists and I mean they don’t even go around king hitting opponents off the ball, now that’s toughness.

So, the season begins tonight, which means it’s still prediction season. Some general thoughts for the 2018 season. Sydney’s midfield will return to being a powerhouse. I don’t like the Port Adelaide hype but it’s more deserved than the Essendon hype. Free agent and trade acquisitions seem to guarantee success in the eyes of some, the Bombers have major holes. The Dees will play finals and are the best chance at replicating the Dogs and Tigers of years before. For some reason, I’m bullish on Fremantle, I like what they’re building despite their deficiencies up forward. Gold Coast not having a home ground for half a season is an absolute travesty, although Stuart Dew seems like a competent coach. Geelong will do what they do every year under Chris Scott and fall short in the finals and North will be irrelevant, again.

Some major predictions;

Premiers – Sydney
Runners Up – Adelaide
Wooden Spoon – North Melbourne
Brownlow – Bryce Gibbs

Ladder

Sydney
GWS Giants
Adelaide
Richmond
Melbourne
Geelong
Port Adelaide
Hawthorn
Collingwood
Fremantle
St. Kilda
Essendon
Western Bulldogs
Gold Coast
West Coast
Brisbane
Carlton
North Melbourne

Season Wins Over/Under

Adelaide (15.5) – Over
Brisbane (6.5) – Under
Carlton (6.5) – Under
Collingwood (10.5) – Under
Essendon (12.5) – Under
Fremantle (9.5) – Over
Geelong (14.5) – Under
Gold Coast (5.5) – Over
GWS Giants (14.5) – Over
Hawthorn (10.5) – Over
Melbourne (12.5) – Over
North Melbourne (6.5) – Under
Port Adelaide (13.5) – Under
Richmond (13.5) – Over
St. Kilda (9.5) – Over
Sydney (15.5) – Over
West Coast (10.5) – Under
Western Bulldogs (11.5) – Under

And now, onwards to Round 1;

Richmond (-30.5) vs Carlton

The Tigers coronation in front of 80,000 insufferable Richmond supporters with 10,000 Carlton supporters asking themselves why they bothered to turn up and be surrounded by these people. Despite all the optimism around Brendon Bolton and this improving Carlton list, they only won six-games in 2017 and went 1-9 from Round 14, giving Bolton a 2-18 record between Rounds 14 and 23 across his first two-seasons. They’ve also lost two of their best five players from last year with Gibbs at Adelaide and Sam Docherty being lost for the season with an ACL tear. Hopefully the Blues will stick with Richmond for a half or longer, but a six to seven goal loss is on the cards.

Adelaide (-2.5) vs Essendon

It’s probably no different to any other season, but there seems to be a lot of injuries on the eve of the year. Adelaide haven’t escaped the injury bug with captain Taylor Walker being ruled out of their opener and Brad Crouch looking at almost two months on the sidelines with groin soreness. The Bombers lost Marty Gleeson in the JLT series with a serious ankle injury and small forward Orazio Fantasia will miss several games. These odds are much closer than they should be and the Crows will cruise.

Brisbane (+24.5) vs St. Kilda

The Saints are a strange case, in the words of Damo Barrett, “where are they at?” St. Kilda are stuck in no man’s land, sort of good enough to sneak into the finals, but won’t do any damage. As all clubs seem to love doing, the Saints went and re-signed Alan Richardson despite him not having achieved a thing. Even with this extension, the heat will be on if they’re sitting at home in September once again. They have an easy start against the Lions, who are still a year away from being competitive.

Fremantle (+26.5) vs Port Adelaide

The pre-season buzz team finally gets to roll out their star studded new recruits. Rockliff, Watts, Motlop, Thomas, McKenzie, the assembling of a new dream team at Alberton Oval. If I was making a premiership push off the back of a free agency/trade spending spree, I wouldn’t have picked the two flakiest players in the game. Jack Watts hasn’t played at a consistent level at any point across his entire career and Motlop’s best football was four-years ago. I say bring back Aaron Young, a victim of the modern game where kicking goals as a forward is seen as a negative.

Hawthorn (-1.5) vs Collingwood

Another year begins with Nathan Buckley in charge of a team with no key position talent, injuries and little chance of doing anything. It’s going to fun putting up with another year of a media circus at the Westpac Centre when Collingwood start 2-6 for about the 5^th year in a row and journalists are calling for Buckley’s head. At least Cyril Rioli is supposedly going to be back for this game, yay everyone celebrate, Cywil is back!

Gold Coast (Push) vs North Melbourne

It’s hard to find a game so irrelevant in Round 1, but here we go. Fitting that the game is being played in Cairns.

GWS Giants (-17.5) vs Western Bulldogs

There’s been a lot of buzz around the Giants with many believing they’re a legit premiership chance. I do like the Giants and they’ll be up there again, but what exactly have they done to get better? The Giants were a long way off last season, despite their preliminary final finish. In the final month of their season, including Round 23, they lost to the other three preliminary finalists by an average of 39-points and none of those losses were particularly competitive. They did face their fair share of injury issues last year and a fit Stephen Coniglio is a big plus, but their improvement rests on the next group of youngsters from the more recent drafts and how quickly will they get better, if at all?

Melbourne (Push) vs Geelong

I have no idea who will win this game and being a pessimistic supporter, I assume the Cats will be jumped by a hungry side who are surely desperate for finals. Geelong has an injury list the length of your arm and even with Gary Ablett seemingly making his return, Paddy Dangerfield won’t play. He won’t even be there biggest loss for the Round 1, Lachie Henderson’s injury is disastrous for Geelong. They had two legendary defenders retire and have done nothing to replace them. Good luck relying on Harry Taylor as your number one key defender.

Sydney (-17.5) vs West Coast

Short of Geelong’s dominance at GMHBA Stadium, no team had a greater advantage at home than the Eagles at Subiaco. That’s now gone, with the dimensions of their new stadium being closer to Etihad Stadium. They will still no doubt have their ridiculous advantage from umpires each home game, but they’ll be facing a similar challenge to visiting teams, becoming accustomed to the new ground. They don’t get an easy opening against the Swans who will be locked in from Round 1 after the calamity in 2017. An away win first up.

Season Record

0/0 (N/A)

One last note, the over hit on every game in Round 1 last year. The first round generally sees a lot of high scoring, just something to remember.

Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Gold Coast Suns

For most supporters, March is the last time we can truly feel hopeful about our football team. Despite this sense of pre-season opportunism, more than likely your team will suck and quickly crush your spirt and soul like they do every year. This a guide on what to expect from your team in 2018. (Full credit to Drew Magary and Deadspin for this idea. Click here to view his guide for all 32 NFL teams.)

Your team: Are they really anyone’s team? Have you ever met an actual Gold Coast Suns fan?

Your 2017:

The most poorly devised expansion team in Australian sport since the Gold Coast Titans in the NRL, or the Gold Coast Blaze in the NBL, or Gold Coast United in the A-League (you get the idea), continued their downward spiral into complete irrelevance with another pitiful season. After a Round 12 win over Hawthorn, their second over the Hawks (winning), the Suns actually looked half competent, sitting at 5 wins 6 losses, a game and percentage behind Port Adelaide who were fifth. They went onto win one more game for the season. Overall their 2017 was marred by embarrassing losses, an embarrassing drama with their star player and a coach getting fired.

Yes, Rodney Eade, the highly decorated coach who took Sydney to a Grand Final and the Bulldogs to three-straight preliminary finals was sacked with three-games to go, following a 23-point loss to Fremantle. Caretaker Dean Solomon took over for three games and must have enjoyed his stint in the main chair at Metricon Stadium, with his side suffering 58, 33 and 115-point losses to round out another 6-win season.

Eade waded through three truly awful seasons, winning just 16 of his 63 games. He has since been appointed coach of Balwyn Tigers in the Eastern Football League and I bet he’s looking forward to coaching a professional organisation for a change.

Going back to that embarrassing drama with their star player, oh boy, what a performance by Gary Ablett. The prodigal son and the only person who had been keeping the Suns on the footy map, at all, since their inception into the league, played out a magical year, not so much on the field, only off it. Ablett’s season included weekly questioning over whether he’d again seek a trade back to Geelong, having made his intentions quite clear that he was ready to flee the fledging club in the 2016 trade period. He also suffered a myriad of phantom injuries, which limited him to just 14 games, playing primarily when he could be bothered or when he was in the mood. And the high point of the fiasco came prior to their final game in Round 23, where he showed off a burst of speed not seen from the little master since the 2009 Grand Final run which led to Paul Chapman’s winning goal, as he escaped reporters outside Metricon Stadium, it was truly an outstanding display.

And yet, Ablett still won the club’s best and fairest, the most ludicrous club champion since Brisbane had a four-way tie in 2015.

Outside of the bald one, rumours about star forward Tom Lynch returning to Victoria began to flare up and will only intensify this year. Adam Saad followed Ablett back to Victoria in the trade period and via delistings the Sun farewelled Daniel Currie, who surely breaks the record for least games-per-season in a career (10 games in 11 seasons) and Jarrad Grant. So long, microphone head.

What’s new that sucks: Farewell Rocket, hello nemesis, Stuart Dew. I hope you fail and fail miserably. I hope you fail so horribly it will go down in history alongside the likes of Scott Watters and Mark Neeld. Curse you and your round figure forever. Okay I haven’t gotten over 2008 and I never will, but seriously, is there a less enviable position to start your head coaching career? A club with clear, systematic cultural issues, a list constantly having to be replenished due to key players wanting to leave Queensland, a disastrous situation off field and almost no sign of a quick turnaround. It’s going to be a long, arduous task. At least he knows what it’s like to be part of a coaching staff at a club facing hardship. It’s not like his only coaching experience has been in the cushy surroundings of Sydney, making finals every single year.

To make life easier for the first-time coach, the Suns won’t even have a home ground until Round 11. This story has gone under the radar, an AFL club won’t have a home ground to play at until mid-season. Thanks to an archaic sporting event which shouldn’t even exist anymore, Gold Coast face a murderer’s row of games across Australia and around the world. In the first 10 rounds before their bye, the Suns play “home” games in Cairns, at the Gabba and in China and more bizarrely, a home game in Perth against Fremantle. In a league obsessed with equalisation and removing imperfections from the fixture, it’s great that the Dockers get to play an away game at Optus Stadium. This is actually the first of back-to-back games in Perth for Gold Coast, a perfect opportunity for any WA based players to meet with their future club for the 2019 season.

In typical AFL fashion, this appears to be a hastily put together contingency plan and will almost certainly crush Gold Coast’s season before it even begins. Can you imagine if this happened to Sydney, or the Adelaide teams? It would be a crisis, but because it’s Gold Coast, no one cares. Surely there’s an alternative venue nearby the Sun could play four, five home games at. Good luck getting off to a quick start, Stu.

On-field, the Sun at least get to unveil another high-priced recruit taken with their second pick in the draft last year. Wait a minute, they traded that pick away. Well then surely, they get a bona fide star to step straight in and replace Ablett? No, they got Lachie Weller. Yes, the most egregious deal in last year’s free agency period saw the Suns trade away pick two for the 47-game midfielder, with a career average of 17-disposals-per-game and who only has kicked 17-goals in his career. This was truly stunning, a last-minute deal which came within the flurry of action on the final day of the trade period. When the story broke that Weller had requested a trade home and that the Dockers were demanding Gold Coast’s first pick, most would have laughed. It’s one of those spoon-fed quotes to drum up a headline. A club throws out a fake request and the two teams work out a fair deal behind the scenes, say a second-round pick. If the Suns weren’t a train wreck, here’s how the conversation could have gone;

Gold Coast: Lachie wants to come home, we want him.

Fremantle: Fair enough, we want pick 2

Gold Coast: Hahaha, of course.

Fremantle: I know right, can you imagine us asking for pick 2? How about a second-rounder?

Gold Coast: Deal.

Instead Fremantle asked for pick two and Gold Coast simply said yes. Maybe they were so stunned a player actually wanted to head to the Gold Coast, they forgot they could still negotiate.

What has always sucked: So far, the Gold Coast experiment has been a complete failure for the AFL. Not a single trip to the finals, a history of off-field disaster stories, cultural problems rife throughout the club, trouble at board level, hideous list building and a complete inability to make revenue without AFL assistance. With each season that passes, the idea in 2011 of sticking 40+ 18-21-year old’s together on the Gold Coast with wads of cash and spare time seems more and more insane. This is the true task facing Dew, it’s not just fixing on-field problems and constructing a gameplan which will lead to improvement. He has to overhaul the entire culture of the club. Guy McKenna seemingly let it flourish, Eade then failed to fix it, can their next coach?

The Suns are a sieve for the AFL, losing money hand-over-foot every year. Aside from a glimmer of hope in 2014 where they won 10 games, Gold Coast has been a complete laughing stock and they face another massive challenge to keep their next star player.

Clubs have already revealed they plan to meet with Lynch during the season and every Victorian club, particularly those with cap space will throw insane dollars at the key tall. What’s the incentive for Lynch to stay? Aside from the wildcard of a “ambassadorial” salary from the AFL if he stays, he can earn millions playing in his home state at a club which can play finals and contend for premierships. They held on to one captain in 2017, Steven May, but trade talks around Lynch will drag on all season and frankly you couldn’t blame him for leaving.

They also have a hideous looking jumper. It’s just red with their ugly logo plastered in the middle and some yellow down the sides.

Did you know? The Suns have never beaten Adelaide or Sydney and don’t have an overall winning record against any team.

Past Gold Coast Suns players:

Sam Iles
Kyal Horsley
Daniel Gorringe
Rex Liddy
Piers Flanagan

What might not suck: They helped crush Hawthorn by sending them Jaeger O’Meara, whose cardboard knees no longer function properly. Thank you, Gold Coast.

Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Brisbane Lions

For most supporters, March is the last time we can truly feel hopeful about our football team. Despite this sense of pre-season optimism, more than likely your team will suck and quickly crush your spirt and soul, like they do every year. This a guide on what to expect from your team in 2018. (Full credit to Drew Magary and Deadspin for this idea. Click here to view his guide for all 32 NFL teams.)

Your team:

The Trey Smith of the AFL. (Will Smith’s first-born son, he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page to link to).

Your 2017: The Lions finally broke through and won something, a wooden spoon! One of the most amazing achievements from Brisbane’s recent run of complete hopelessness was their inability to ever suck bad enough to finish last and at least earn themselves the number one pick. Thanks to another pathetic four-win season, the Lions dropped that one spot to finish 18^th and earn themselves the wooden spoon, the second in their post-Fitzroy history.

After squeaking out a first up win in the highly anticipated Q Clash, Brisbane went on a nine-game losing streak, reaching their Round 11 bye in 18^th position. They promptly stayed there for the rest of the season. Despite some hairy moments where both Carlton and North Melbourne were looming to steal that wooden spoon, Brisbane completed the triumph with a 51-point loss at home to the Roos in the final round.

They continued their recent traditions of being both completely awful at home, going 3-8 and being hideously weak defensively. In a league where one team (Adelaide) averaged over 100-points-per-game in the home and away season, the Lions conceded an average of 114-points-per-game. The most amazing part of that stat was that they actually improved on their 2016 performance by 16-points-per-game. Yes, in a league of rolling mauls, flooding, impotent attacks and hideously assembled forward lines, Brisbane has averaged over 122-points-against-per-game over the last two seasons!

Off field they had to put up with the on-going saga of their “talented” young forward Josh Schache wanting to go home to Victoria. After taking time off during the season and heading home, he re-signed and then still requested a trade. I’m sure the Lions were desperate to hold onto the former number-two pick who has averaged less than a goal-a-game in his 27-game career. But alas it’s a tough life for a 20-year, earning hundreds of thousands of dollars, living in eternal sunshine, out of the footy limelight and he fled to the Bulldogs in exchange for a second-round pick. To put that in perspective, the last tall forward taken in the top two picks of the draft to flee back to Victoria, Tom Boyd, netted GWS the sixth-pick in the draft and a former club captain in Ryan Griffen.

What’s new that sucks: He’s arrived!!! The captain’s captain, the footballer’s footballer, the drunk drivers’ drunk driver, you’ve picked up the one, the only, the unstoppable object, the greatest good bloke to ever grace an AFL field, Luke “Hodgey” Hodge! Recruiting coups don’t get any more exciting than that, a washed-up, over-the-hill, 33-year old who has pretty much nothing to play for aside from earning a footballer’s salary for one more year. The most exciting part of his season will be picking the round he first completely goes apeshit and gets himself suspended. And don’t go thinking he’s still exempt from the wrath of AFL tribunal, he’s not covered in brown and gold anymore. Although it is Hodgey, so you might still be okay.

Outside of the great one, number one draft pick Cam Rayner has arrived, after already publicly having to quell doubts about wanting to play with the Lions long-term, that’s always a great sign. He has since signed an extension to his original two-year deal, presumably he signed his future three-year contract to Richmond on the same day. As Schache proved, contract extensions don’t really mean much in Brisbane, so Rayner could easily flee his way back to Victoria within a year or two.

The Lions also traded for Charlie Cameron, who remarkably actually wanted go back home to Brisbane. By 2018, this is the only way the Lions can attract genuine talent from other clubs, Cameron joins Dayne Beams and Tom Bell as the only recruits who picked Brisbane specifically, the rest (Josh Walker, Mitch Robinson, Ryan Bastinac, Allen Christensen) just had nowhere else to go, for one reason or another. Luckily Cameron will arrive in a similar situation to his former club where he had the midfield support to utilise his skillset of being a pacey, outside midfielder who can burst forward of centre and kick goals… oh wait.

What has always sucked: About this team? From 2004, pretty much everything. Since their Grand Final four-peat was derailed by Port Adelaide, the Lions have made the finals once, once! That’s as pathetic as Melbourne, in fact it’s worse, Melbourne have played finals twice in that span. And yet no one is even aware of that fact, I had to look it up.

Brisbane truly are the most irrelevant team in the competition. Playing in the AFL graveyard that is Queensland, Kevin McCallister got more love from his family on Christmas Eve than the Lions do from the AFL. They still can’t even get a proper training facility built, even North Melbourne achieved that feat. They’re consistently last in memberships, their crowds are terrible and they have a revolving door of executives with stories of in-fighting being an annual occurrence.

These are facts and figures, but to appreciate the extent of the hopelessness, you really need to go watch a game at the Gabba. Firstly, you get off the plane in Brisbane and wander the streets of the truly lifeless concrete jungle that is Brisbane and I challenge you to find even a hint that the Lions exist. A banner, a sign, an ad, a child wearing a damn Brisbane hat, anything. On game day, you travel out to what, after the demolition of Subiaco, must be the most rundown stadium in the league where you will be met with 75% empty seats and a true sense that football doesn’t belong here. There’s no excitement, no joy, fans trudge in just to give them something to do. Away fans are always louder than the home support, it’s the closest thing Australia has to a Los Angeles Chargers home game. It’s a real A-League atmosphere. A few thousand die-hards mixed in with a bunch of theatregoers who treat going to the football like visiting a museum or playing golf, just something to pass the time.

And maybe that’s why no one wants to play up there, because I can’t figure it out. Queensland has an almost perfect climate pretty much all year round, you’re completely away from the AFL bubble of Victoria, I assume no one would even recognise you walking around the streets of Brisbane or around the suburbs just outside the capital and you can escape the non-stop news cycle whenever you feel like it.

The list of players Brisbane has lost to other clubs in recent years rivals anyone, even Carlton. Sam Docherty and Elliot Yeo have turned into genuine superstars, there’s Jack Redden and Jared Polec and now Tom Rockliff. The majority leaving because they don’t want to play in Queensland, I don’t understand it, but I bet Hugh McCluggage is a year or two away from packing his bags and joining the exodus. It must be hard playing for a team which hasn’t finished above 15^th since 2013.

This year there seems to be a sense of genuine optimism that the Lions will actually improve. They have a list full of first-rounders, thanks to stockpiling picks from players fleeing the Sunshine State and a coach who seemingly knows what he’s doing. Although the last time there was this sense of optimism was in 2015 and Brisbane went on to win four-games, so who knows?

Did you know? The Lions haven’t made a single profit off-field since 2007.

Past Brisbane Lions players:

Leigh Ryswyk
Bradd Dalziell
Aaron Shattock
Lane Spaanderman
Damien Cupido

What might not suck: Eric Hipwood is a beast and is going to be so much better than Schache. Lions fans probably already know that the Bulldogs did them a favour. I’m also rooting for Chris Fagan after hearing a glorious story involving him and Alastair Clarkson after Hawthorn were eliminated by the Bulldogs in 2016 semi-final.

Kane Cornes: The league’s biggest hot take artist

Kane Cornes had a short-lived career in the fire brigade after his retirement from the AFL.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture yourself in this scenario. You’ve entered your 15^th season in the league. Approaching 300 games, you can feel the end is near.

Midway through what you know will be your final season, you decide you want to join the fire brigade. Because you are part of one of South Australia’s most famous sporting families and you’re a premiership player and 4x best-and-fairest winner at your club, you skip the admission process and get straight in, you’re now a fiery.

But you soon realise being a fireman isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You love footy and need to be back in the system and because you’re an ex-player, you pass all the requirements to join the footy media. Now the challenge to become relevant in the bloated sea of ex-players, turned “experts” begins.

Kane Cornes is the most fascinating retired player to walk into the media, maybe ever. A hot take specialist who attempts to be as controversial as possible which has somehow forged him his own section within the football media.

For a quick example, just look back to Monday after the first week of the JLT Series. Melbourne’s 53-point victory over North Melbourne was definitely impressive. A good spread of goalkickers, they looked organised defensively and the midfield proved much stronger than their Roo opponents. However, it’s only the pre-season and the game doesn’t really mean anything.

So, someone coming out and say, suggesting Melbourne will make the Grand Final immediately after a pre-season win would just be offering up fairly predictable clickbait. Kane, please indulge us.

That is how Cornes has operated since he retired in 2015 and that makes him either the least self-aware person in the media (beside Mark Robinson) or, the smartest operator in the football media.

There are a lot of personalities a player can take on when entering the media. It is something a lot of players want to do, and why not, there’s no experience, or skills, or ability required, it guarantees you a decent pay check, and it is easy work.

The biggest challenge is staying relevant, as each year another group of footy legends realise there’s no point leaving the system, even once they hang up the boots.

The easiest persona is the soft, “good bloke” routine. Call that the Cameron Ling. Be really nice to everyone you interact with, never criticise anyone and basically never even have an opinion. This is easy, people like you, you’ll never offend anyone and never risk losing your prime position.

A harder identity is the one Cornes has chosen to take on. Be as controversial as possible, speak exclusively in hot takes and make it your prime objective to create headlines. And, amazingly he’s beaten the system. In the world of clickbait and media companies desperate for clicks and readers, hot takes are golden.

Here’s a brief list of corners Cornes has stood on as he’s ascended to be king of the controversial opinion. Accusing Patrick Dangerfield of exaggerating injuries. Labelled Alex Rance a diver. Said Hawthorn’s O’Meara trade will be one of the worst of all time. And called for player salaries to be made public. Those are all in the past 12 months.

He doesn’t even limit himself to his former sport. Going down the easy “female tennis players shouldn’t be paid as much as men” path and what has become the most effective way to drive clicks via riling up a readership, soccer will never be as popular as AFL in Australia.

That’s what Cornes does, throws out grenades and watches them explode in the comment section. It’s perfect, for him and whoever he works for. Hence why he’s on radio in Adelaide on 5AA, and safely entrenched in Craig Hutchinson’s Croc Media stable which has netted him a spot on the Sunday Footy Show and inexplicably, a three-hour radio spot on SEN, broadcasting out of Adelaide.

Cornes probably doesn’t even believe half of what he says, he just says it for effect, he’s a genius. Or he does believe everything says and is an idiot, in any case his unique brand of controversy is perfect for 2018.

For your average football supporter, they’ve quickly grown to despise Kane Cornes and everything he stands for, and that’s the point, that is the power of the hot take.

JLT Series Week 1 Musings: The beginning of a competitive pre-season

Port Adelaide’s Dom Barry had an impressive game against the Eagles.

We had our first taste of pre-season football with four games across the country. Thanks to the league’s bizarre fixturing, the first week isn’t even technically over with Carlton to host St. Kilda on Wednesday night at Ikon Park.

However, we got four solid games, a look at both of last year’s Grand Finalists and two of the biggest players in free agency, Essendon and Port Adelaide, unveiled some of their new toys. Enough to make a few assertions from the beginning of the JLT series.

Teams are taking it seriously, meaning better football

The AFL may have lucked out with the addition of the AFLX. Cutting the pre-season down to just two full games has suddenly prompted coaches and teams to give a damn. Two-games appears to be the minimum players need before the home-and-away stuff begins so clubs have loaded up with teams vaguely resembling their best 22. And with better teams on the field, it meant better games. Richmond looked dominant with a near full strength line-up and Adelaide flexed their muscles for a half. It’s no coincidence three of the four favourites won on the opening weekend and even the Power were within a late game collapse of making it a sweep for the favourites.

Essendon and Port Adelaide’s recruiting sprees got off to a slow start

The Bombers and Power loaded up in the off-season and neither teams would have been overly impressed by what their new additions produced. Essendon were blown off the field after the 10-minute mark of the first quarter, right around the time Jake Stringer was sent off with a nasty looking head gash. The enigmatic forward/midfielder returned periodically from then on, finishing with just the nine-disposals. Adam Saad started brightly with a trademark goal, but went in-and-out from that point. Devon Smith was one positive from the day, the former Giant had a strong outing with 26-disposals and one-goal.

It was an even bleaker picture for the Power who unfurled four of their six new experienced recruits, including Jack Watts and Steven Motlop. Watts was serviceable early with a goal, but only finished with nine-disposals. Motlop was barely sighted, finishing with eight-disposals and even more worryingly, headed to the bench late with a calf strain that could require further time off. Throw in Lindsay Thomas’ four-disposals and Jack Trengove’s 11 and the new boys combined for just 32-disposals on the day.

Melbourne’s hype will continue to grow

Richmond’s demolition of Essendon aside, the Dees’ big win over North Melbourne was the highlight of the weekend. Melbourne looked clinical, organised in defence, produced quick transition off half back and had a host of different goalkickers, including highly touted first year player Bayley Fritsch who kicked three. Jake Lever’s ability to free up their better ball users in defence will be so vital and the likes of Michael Hibberd and Jayden Hunt had a field day releasing off half back. It was interesting to note Christian Petracca spent most of the time at half forward as a move into the centre may be on the cards at some point this season.

Draftees show signs

We only got a glimpse of a few top picks from the National Draft, with three first rounders running around for their respective clubs. Of that trio, Andrew Brayshaw was the most impressive for the Dockers. He only finished with the 14-disposals, but went at 89% efficiency and looked really clean, decisive and intelligent. North Melbourne’s Luke Davis-Uniacke found the going a little tougher, but showed enough with 12-disposals, nine by hand and eight being contested. The other was Jack Higgins who played less than half of the match and seems a longshot to debut early this year. Outside of those highly touted recruits, some other youngster to impress included Port’s Dom Barry whose second stint at the top level saw him shine with 20-disposals and a goal. Adelaide’s Lachlan Murphy looked really lively in the forward pocket, kicking three goals and if the Eagle’s Liam Ryan every holds onto one, he’ll take mark of the year at some point in his career.

All aboard the AFL hype train

A strong haul this off season has Port Adelaide the key hype team of 2018.

Pre-season means predictions in the AFL and like every year, not all clubs will be equal. As the build up to the new season grows, so too will the hype around certain teams.

Hype around a team doesn’t mean they’re instantly considered a premiership threat, or even a lock to play finals, just that they will be a team to watch and improve in some capacity this season.

This isn’t even a prediction on whether pundits will be right about these teams, just a list of the five clubs who will be receiving the most buzz come the start of the season.

Brisbane

First up, a pretty easy example to show not all hype means they’re a premiership threat. Last year’s wooden spooners haven’t finished above 12^th since 2009, which was also the last year they played finals. They’ve also finished 17^th or lower in the past three seasons. The short of it, the only way has to be up for the Lions. Brisbane will be the buzzy pick of last year’s bottom four or five to become more competitive and potentially tip-toe around the top eight for parts of the season. The list is stacked with first-round picks and the hype will build that Chris Fagan has them going in the right direction.

Hawthorn

It would be fair to consider Hawthorn exempt from this list, as there is always media hype around the Hawks. The very idea of Hawthorn doing anything makes the media salivate and with their shock drop to 12^th in 2017 means a quick rebound is surely on the cards, especially considering how strongly they ended last year. It’s already begun after James Sicily announced his rise to superstardom with a dominant AFLX performance and with a horde of injured champions ready to return, the hype will be intense come Round 1.

Melbourne

This love will be partly, they came so close and their list looks even stronger so they must improve and partly, please Melbourne for the love of god will you play finals this year?! St. Kilda aside, the Demons are one of the few hard luck stories left in the league and their premiership drought is made even worse by their 11-year finals drought on top of that. Having their hearts ripped out in the final quarter of the home-and-away season will make Melbourne the feel-good story of the year for journalists and add the addition of Jake Lever, the Dees hype will be relentless.

Port Adelaide

The Power shot to the very top of this list as soon as the final bell rang to make the end of last year’s free agency and trade period. Port Adelaide loaded up with Tom Rockliff, Jack Watts and Steven Motlop and post that, Ken Hinkley’s side also added Jack Trengove, Trent McKenzie and Lindsay Thomas. They’ve clearly set themselves for a premiership push and signing big names in free agency earns you instant credibility, for some reason. Port made the jump to 5^th last year before their heartbreaking finals exit to West Coast and if pre-season predications will be anything to go by, they’ll be able to go a few steps further this season.

Sydney

The shock horror of Sydney’s 0-6 was followed by the scene we’ve come accustomed to, the Swans tearing through the league and anyone who stood in their way. Still, despite their second half bounce back, their season ended unceremoniously at the hands of the Cats in the semi-final. Considering they were virtually flag favourites from sixth at the beginning of the final series, it won’t be a surprise to see Sydney leading the nominations for premiership favourites this year. Their list is largely the same, but a hardened resolve will more than likely see them avoid their horror start for a second year in a row and the media will be loving it.

AFLX Musings: Take it to grassroots and away from bright lights

Adelaide defeated Geelong by eight-points in Thursday’s “Grand Final”

First off, I get it, AFLX wasn’t created, designed or implemented for passionate, long standing footy fans. As has been the league’s mission throughout the 21^st century, the league has two key target groups for this new format, kids and the northern states.

Masters of resting on their laurels and taking their core fanbase for granted, AFLX ignores this group and is built for kids who can’t sit still for longer than five minutes and New South Welshman and Queenslanders who can’t even find an oval ground nearby, let alone would ever visit one for a football game.

Alas though, it was unveiled in Adelaide, at the top level and marked the beginning of the pre-season. So, what were some takeaways from the AFL’s latest wacky creation?

It’s just basketball

End-to-end, players largely congregating around each team’s goalsquares and providing an incentive for taking shots from long range. AFLX was footy merging with basketball, like never before. The real stuff has continually added elements from basketball, but AFLX was essentially basketball with a football and with goal posts instead of baskets.

Lack of any defensive strategy or intensity was zzzzzz

Reminiscent of non-contact drills, the lack of any semblance of a defensive plan from all 18 teams was pretty remarkable. Although slightly understandable considering clubs would have had one, maybe two run throughs at most and they weren’t taking it seriously, most players didn’t even bother to pay attention when their side were without the ball. Tackles were few and far between and while it almost entirely eliminated stoppages, seeing teams just waltz to 40 and bomb long became boring and stale, quickly.

The key gimmick isn’t exciting

Like the six in Big Bash and three’s in basketball, the awkwardly named “Zooper” goal (of course with an attached sponsorship) was a key way to liven things up. 10-points for a goal kicked outside the two 40 mete arcs is reminiscent of the glorious “Supergoal” which lit up the Wizard Cup all those years back. Smoke and fireworks following the booming goal from distance. The main problem? No one at AFL level is unable to kick a goal from 40 metres out, so they happen all the time. On Thursday, Fremantle and Geelong went back and forth kicking zooper goals and they quickly lost their lustre. It has to be a proper achievement to nail a zooper goal and at the rate they were occurring, it isn’t at all.

It served little purpose for the clubs

The teams were almost exclusively filled with first year players & rookies and few teams bothered to send the maximum number of players on their respective flights over. As the format is so unique, it was fairly fruitless gauging how the new draftees handled their first taste of something resembling AFL action. There weren’t any strategical breakthroughs coaches can bring to the real stuff and the games were so short, the level of running will most likely be matched in training across the next week. Nothing really to take away or build on for anyone involved at club level.

I’m not sure if the AFL achieved its objectives, crowds were solid, despite the lack of interest from clubs. AFLX could most definitely work at grassroots level, which would be the aim for the league. But to use the beginning of pre-season to present it to the masses? Let’s just start the JLT Community Series.

Remembering Geelong’s quiet superstar

Corey played 276-games, winning three premierships with the Cats.

I once asked Western Bulldogs Club Doctor Gary Zimmerman, as part of a magazine interview, who was his favourite sports star. Dr Zimmerman took a while to come up with a response, and fair enough too, it’s a loaded question with so many options.

Before answering, he asked me the same question, who was my favourite sports star? I said Joel Corey.

It was easy to forget, in the bevy of superstars which made up the glorious era of 2007-2011, the tall and athletic midfielder from East Perth, in the number 11. For a start, Corey shared midfield time with Gary Ablett, Jimmy Bartel, Joel Selwood, Cameron Ling, Paul Chapman, Steve Johnson, etc. etc. It’s unfair to leave any names out, but you get the idea.

On-field he didn’t really wow you with the utter brilliance of Ablett, the big moment timing of Bartel, the unrelenting courage of Selwood or the mercurialness of Johnson. He was just always there, a clearance machine, running all day, the ability to hit any target no mater what side of the body he used. He may not have appeared on every highlight reel, but via the stat sheet and more importantly, the eye test, you’d notice his impact, even if the wider football community may not have.

Aside from his on-field exploits, the true reason Corey got lost in the shuffle of Geelong’s supreme midfield was his off-field demeanour. Corey may have been the most unassuming three-time premiership and two-time best and fairest winning footballer to have ever played the game.

He wouldn’t appear on any pre-game radio broadcast, you wouldn’t see him on Open Mike and he certainly wouldn’t be found as a panellist on the Footy Show. In fact, the only piece of media I can remember Corey ever doing was the wonderfully produced 2007 Grand Final reflection.

Long after the crowd had gone home and thousands of delirious Cats fans were back celebrating across all corners of Australia, Corey led the team back onto the MCG for a quiet moment or two left to ponder what they had just accomplished.

Not only does the video focus on Corey, he also narrates it, which for many fans of the league and maybe even some Cats fans, may have been the first time you had ever heard his voice. It is fitting that the one-time Corey chose to take a small step into the limelight, it was in front of an empty stadium, with only his teammates by his side.

Thankfully, his brilliance was never lost on Geelong. He is one of only 24-players to have won multiple Carji Greeves Medals. The first coming in 2005 and the second coming in 2008. Frustratingly and by coincidence, both of Corey’s best and fairest winning years ended in utter despair for the Cats.

And maybe by fate, Corey’s career would end on a brutal night for the Geelong Football Club as well. A preliminary final loss to arch rivals Hawthorn proved to be his final game and of course, with little fanfare, he announced his retirement a few weeks later.

If there was one way to describe the impact of Corey on Geelong and the AFL, aside from his three premiership medallions, two All Australians and prominent facial hair, Corey was one of the first truly athletic, oversized midfielders. It has become the blueprint for a prototypical midfielder in 2017. Corey was that player drafted 17-years earlier. It’s little wonder Marcus Bontempelli has turned into a star of the competition, he has the original as his midfield coach.

It’s still a little distressing seeing him in Bulldogs colours on gameday, one would have thought with such little fame off the field, Corey would have retired and wandered off from the game. Alas he continues at Whitten Oval where he was no doubt an unheralded piece of their premiership win.

I hope and I’m sure many other Geelong fans also wish to see Corey back in Geelong colours in some capacity. He did make one trip down the highway as a guest of the club, in a motorcade as they honoured the 2007 premiership team prior to the Round 10 clash against Port Adelaide.

Although with so many club legends there that night, you may have missed Joel Corey and that was no doubt fine with him.